Sunday, November 27, 2005
beneath
this cursor is killing me..
it's always blinking.. i have already typed something and still it blinks. taunting. mocking. "is that all you've got?" it seems to say. whatever i write will always be lacking.. there's still so much more left unsaid.. as if it knows better..
maybe it does.
having my life and thoughts accessible to anybody who'll care to bother is not as liberating as it seemed at first.. even when i have grown to believe that what other people think shouldn't really matter, i find myself, most of the time, "caring" how some of them will think and feel about what i say and write.. i hate the thought that i'm turning out to be one of those prissy people-pleasers, but making people upset and disappointing them - i dislike that more. tsk.
emotions do this all the time. you think about what you'll do twice, at least, before actually doing them.. run the consequences through your mind over and over.. juggle your thoughts for the infinite possibilities and probabilities.. try to predict your own future even.. just so you come up with the best decision you can and hope for the best that you don't end up hurting anybody.. even if you come out of whatever mess you got yourself in in the most unspectacular way..
broken. torn. shattered. hollow. putting the pieces together with a smile, a laugh, a giggle and a flip of the hair deserves some sort of award, i think..
how do you tell a cursor to just shut up?
thought overload @ 3:40 PM |
