Thursday, November 24, 2005
my ex
i don't think i have ever talked about AK as an "ex".. when i do tell other people about our story, i always end up talking about someone i had a relationship with, still has a sort of relationship with, and may have a more special kind of relationship with someday.. the term "ex" is too final.. everyone knows i'm not too good at ending stuff.
and besides, i never had a reason to get AK out of my life.. he is, from time to time, a happy thought.. and he has been like one of my favorite books - i may have already read it, but when i read it again, i found out that i have missed some details the first time.. and when i read it again after that, i realize that there is still so much more to be understood..
it took years for me to understand him enough to finally let it all go.. it's not like we're still "together", ok? it's just that he's still a significant part of my life, but keeping him, now that i see him and our relationship for what it really is, will not be "good" for me anymore..
it's over.
(i can already imagine my friends doing cartwheels and hear gracelle cheering. tsk.) it is sad, losing a friend this way.. i can't believe that it turned out to be that "lovers can't be friends" cliche.. oh gahd, i'm rhyming.
anyway, when i see him again, it will be SO weird.. he's gonna be, like, a manifestation of memories.. i wonder if that's the way "ex relationships" really work..
AK, my ex. surprise. a bit of sadness. a little happiness. excitement. relief. breathing's a lot easier now.
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typical as it may seem, i wish him happiness - and i really, really, REALLY mean it...i wish he'll return the CD he borrowed too...
thought overload @ 10:16 PM |
