Monday, June 26, 2006
what's up: not much. everything's so routine lately, now that i think about it. not that i'm complaining. eat, sleep, get ready for work, eat, work, eat, sleep, text or call japo in between all of that. on weekends, it's go to laguna, japo, sleep, home, sleep, japo, go back to makati. it has been that way since june started. since Law school started. before that, japo stayed here in makati. we went out, watched movies, spent time with abrie, et cetera.
now, it's - boring. and no, i am rarely in the mood to go out with girlfriends, nor go out for friendly dates. it's like i'm too tired. i do not enjoy beer in makati. the only thing that's fun is getting to watch the latest movies with less hassle than when i was in elbi, and i do not even want to do that most of the time because i only want to watch the good movies with japo. the mall is a 5-minute ride away from my office, 10 minutes from the condo and i do not even want to go there to windowshop or whatever.
what's happening to me?
anyway, earlier, around midnight, hanging out at starbucks with gracelle and carlo, feeling down because i will not be seeing japo for 10 days (*sigh*) and not having enough rest this past weekend that caused a rather unpleasant time with the love of my life, thus the start of depressing thoughts such as if-i-die-in-the-next-ten-days-the-last-time-i-saw-him-he-was-upset-with-me thoughts, i tried to escape from all that negativity with a slice of oreo cheesecake and a glass of doubleshot espresso. the sugar and caffeine fix helped wake my senses but the "depression" is still there somewhere.
i need time off.
fortunately (or unfortunately), gracelle needs time off too. an out-of-town trip sounded perfect. the ocean sounded perfect. going to bataan this weekend is perfect. so there it is - bataan. this weekend. with gracelle. it's like the bestfriend meeting the family. haha.
gimik with amber this friday night. i hope it's fun. but i just know going to bataan will be funner. i so want to go to bataan. hang out by the sea. hear the waves. that will be so peaceful. can't wait.
grace, if you're reading this - i want to go, ok? i want i want i want. we need it. i need it. and you're probly thinking that you need it too. so there. we're going.
(*lunchbreak*)
and then there it is. txt messages from the love of my life. him being upset. i was crying in a bathroom stall downstairs where i can bring my celfon to txt him back apologies and pleas and more apologies while i cry my eyes out.
4 hours to go. i just want to go home and cry. i want to go to the nearest beach and feel the waves on my feet. i want to go to a mountaintop and just lay there, maybe cry some more. i want to see the stars. lots and lots of stars.
i just want to wake up and see him smile.
i want to see him smile before i sleep.
thought overload @ 6:13 PM |
