Friday, August 25, 2006
"i don't remember having started anything.. so why does it feel like something ended?" ~30mar06~a) i am the most selfish creature on earth. i want to have the best of ALL worlds.. i do not want to settle for anything less than what i think, and believe, i can have.. noone has the right to deprive me of the attention i crave..
b) i am too generous. i want to share every piece of me to everyone who needs it.. even if it's the "right" thing to "not do" things, i cannot help but want to make the people i care about happy in whatever way i can..
c) my ego has gone out of control. these people are not supposed to function without me.. how dare they move on with their lives?!
d) the "what ifs" refuse to be ignored. shoulda woulda coulda.. might have beens.. messes me up.. i am so not the "what if" type of girl..
e) inggitera lang talaga ako. why do other people get the attention and i don't? i had it before, anyway..
f) the world conspires against me. some people who i think acted "worse" are treated better than i am.. i haven't done anything THAT wrong.. why am i getting this kind of karma?!
g) there's this possibility that i was never special. i'm only a whole lot of things because i have a multiple personality disorder..
h) i'm depressed. and holding on to this sense of confusion makes me feel that my life has more possibilities than i have, consciously and unconsciously, restricted it to.. in this state of mind, i almost believe that maybe it has more to it than what it seems like to me most of the time..
i should leave analyzing my psyche to gracelle.. saves me from at least one major headache.
thought overload @ 7:31 PM |
